Another Reflection

This one was written in my experienceproject.com group:

I lost my youngest brother to abortion at the age of 10. Just 8 months
after losing my dad. Sadly, my poor mother kept it a secret for nearly
11 years.
The night she finally told us, I had no idea that was
coming. What a great shock! When I heard she was pregnant after my dad
died, I assumed she’d miscarried or given the baby up for adoption. Up
until that time, I gave so little thought to abortion. If asked, I would
say I was pro life, against abortion, but mostly because of how we were
raised. It really hurt to find out that we were actually affected
personally by it. But all of us (my 3 siblings and I) felt bad for mom,
and went to assure her that we loved her no less. We admired her for
telling us, and she bravely answered our questions. One of the things
she told us was the date he died, and it was such a relief to know. She
always tried to make things nice for us, but for the first time in 11
years, she was able to acknowledge her 5th child on that day. He no
longer needed to be kept secret among us! I believe that that must’ve
been so healing for her. We still feel pain on that day, and it’s hard
not to be upset with those who are blissfully unaware of the anniversary
we are remembering, but we also feel my dear brother’s presence in such
a special way, like we do with my dad on his anniversary.
I have never really been comfortable with my emotions, so for about 6 years I
did my best to bury the surprisingly strong pain I felt over the brother
I never even knew existed, until relatively recently. During that time I
felt alot of anger towards the pro life movement. I felt that it was
full of condemners (of post abortive parents) with graphic images! I
feel very defensive of my mom and others, knowing how much pain they’ve
gone through, and how many of them are involved trying to save families
from the same pain they know so well. As for the images, I was nearly
sick the first time I saw one of those horrid images. In addition to the
natural shock/horror, it was even worse for me, knowing I lost someone
that way. What if I was looking at him?! I’d never know. And the same
with all other post abortives. Thankfully I have come to realize that
while there are people in the movement that are confirming my fears,
even they are fighting to save others from this pain (just in a way that
I, personally, do not agree with). I have joined this movement, in an
effort to raise awareness of the far reaching affects of abortion. It
does not just affect the parents. It is my hope and prayer that by
sharing my story, others may be inspired to do the same, leading to many
more resources for our healing!

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2 thoughts on “Another Reflection

  1. Dear Susi. A lot of fears you expressed about pro-lifers hurting your Mom or beiong condemning or judgemental are lies from Satan. He wants those hurting not to be welcomed and loved and healed. Almost all of us are sympathetic and want to help those suffering after abortions. I always told tmy “clients” You know, there are probably women sitting next to you in church, who are afraid of what YOU would say or think if you knew about their abortions. They all think they are the only ones in that situation and Satan is saying “oh don’t tell, they will hate you'” We all have sinned and fallen short and Jesus paid for ALL our sins before we were even born or committed them. God lovews you and so do we.

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