In 2010 when I first was made aware that I had siblings who had been lost to abortion. I was really so busy dealing with the loss of my own children (I’ve lost 3 at various stages in pregnancy) that I really couldn’t process my siblings. The next year when Jon’s angel day came around it felt wrong NOT to do something to honor him. So I did, it was just a small private candle lighting, but it was a time to remember him. As I began working through the loss of my siblings (Jon, and Twins Avery & Bailey), I became sad for the life we would never know, never have. While in hindsight I can see why the women carrying them made the choices they did, I don’t have to like those choices.
Since I was already involved in groups for the loss of a child, I started my search there finding support for the loss of my siblings. However one night while in a chat room for child loss I was really missing my siblings and tried to explain how I was feeling, and one woman…no matter what I said she was just SURE I was judging the woman who had aborted them and” how dare I….”. So I just….stopped talking about them again for a while. Until Jon’s angel day came around again and I felt the need once again to reach out for support, that’s when I found Susi/ Renee and her group of surviving siblings ❤ support is SO important, especially support without judgement, siblings are often the forgotten mourners when a child dies, and even more so in a death like an abortion where people often make assumptions and don’t offer support at all. We still grieve our siblings, no matter what the reasoning for the abortion or our parents’ feelings on the matter, we grieve and we have a right to grieve.
~Sara, sibling survivor to Jon, Avery Nicole & Bailey John