Post Abortive Sibling Chooses Life Despite Difficult Circumstances

My story is probably a little different compared to others. When my mom was 17, she met a guy she fell madly in love with. She wound up getting pregnant. For the sake of her future, she aborted. She and the baby’s father broke up. Nine years later she had met and married my father, and had me. My brother followed four years later. I found out about her abortion when I was a young teenager. I didn’t initially feel survivor’s guilt or anything…in fact I just felt numb. Like the event was world’s away from the here and now. I didn’t think about it for a long time.
Then when I was 17, I met a guy I fell madly in love with. I ended up getting pregnant. That changed everything. Here I was in the exact same position as my mom. But instead of being understanding of the insane amount of emotions …I was dealing with, she practically disowned me. She wouldn’t love me or support me, and she made me feel like dirt. I couldn’t believe that this woman who had been standing exactly where I stood would treat me as she did. She knew exactly how I felt and what I was going through. I ended up leaving her house to live with my dad. And I chose life for my baby. Years later, me and my son’s father are happily married with two other beautiful blessings. My mom and I have worked through most of our issues, and she is a wonderful grandmother to my kids. But my pregnancy with my first son is still a sore spot for me. I still can’t fathom why she would revile me for making the same mistake she did. I still can’t believe I once had a sibling who’s life started out in the exact same way as my son’s, except his or her life was cut short. I can’t imagine choosing that ending for my son. It’s all just a tangled web of emotions. I am saddened by what my mom chose to do, but I am also heartbroken because I did walk in her shoes. I did experience her pain. And I chose a different path. And I guess I just wish she had too. I can’t help but look at my three kids and picture my brother and I with another sibling. Sometimes I feel like God replayed the same story twice so that the ending could be rewritten.

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