I am an ‘Only Child’…or am I? (Sibling Testimony)

This was also taken from Silent No More’s page: http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/testimonies/testimony.aspx?ID=2055 What a blessing that they offer a place for people like us to share our stories. When I first started out in this movement, I assumed SNM was just for parents, and am happy to be proven wrong. Hopefully more siblings start to make use of it, or other forums and such like it. I am greatly honored by the ones who have agreed to share on my blog, but totally understand why some are hesitant.

Kim’s story touched me deeply, especially because she lost a younger sibling, as did I. Also, I know several other ‘only’ children, who can likely relate quite well. I do not know her, but my heart breaks for her. And her mom. As you will see in her testimony, she is a counselor, which is totally awesome! We need more siblings in that field. Sometimes the easiest person to talk to about our pain, is someone who’s been there. I know quite a few who are reluctant to speak up in front of post abortive parents, for fear of hurting them. Kim, being a sibling like us, is safe! Without further ado:

‘Here is my story so it can be used for good.  I guess I would title this, “I am an ‘Only Child’…or am I?”  My mom was 17 years old when she got pregnant with me.  Her boyfriend was much older.  Even though abortions were illegal at the time, people knew where they could go to get them.  My mom was scared and she wanted an abortion. Her boyfriend talked her out of it and even asked her to marry him.  I was born.  My parents got divorced a few years later.  My mom was married three times by the time she was 24 years old. 

I liked her third husband very much.  He was like a dad to me.  We were poor but I didn’t know we were poor for many years.  I was an “only child.”  I always wanted a brother or sister.  I used to talk about it and dream about having a brother or sister.  One day, my mom and step-dad were in the car when I got out of school.  That was odd; I usually walked home.  I was happy to have a ride home.  I think I was about 7 years old.  I asked why they were there and where we were going.  My mom said, “ I have a baby in my tummy.”  I was sooooo excited that I was jumping in the car; bouncing if you will.  In the next breath, my mom told me that we couldn’t afford to keep the baby.  My heart sank…what did that mean?  Would the baby have to live somewhere else?  To my horror, this is how I first learned about abortion.  My mom said she had an appointment with “the doctor” so he could take the baby out of her tummy.  I cried and felt a pain that I cannot even explain.  I actually felt sick.  I begged her to not go…..   In a minute, my dream of having a brother or sister was a reality and in the next minute, it was a nightmare!!!  How could I possibly love this baby so much when I just found out about him or her?  I yearned for this baby.  We drove to the “doctor’s office” and I sat in the car with my step-dad while my mom went in and had an abortion.

This time, abortion was legal.  Maybe that helped my mom make her decision.  It can’t be that bad if it is legal, right?  WRONG!!!  She regretted that abortion for the rest of her life!  Every time she saw a child that would have been the same age as the baby she aborted, she started to cry.  Some nights, I would wake up to her crying.  I would go to see where she was.  Sometimes, she would be curled-up in a ball rocking herself on the floor.  Once in a while, she was on the sofa.  She was almost always in the dark.  She never got over it. She realized she had killed her own baby.   As for my step-dad, he never got to have a child.  My mom divorced him and remarried.  My mom never had another child.  So, I am an only child….or am I? 

I believe God had a plan for that baby and I wonder what he or she would have been like.  I am married to a wonderful man and we have three beautiful sons.  To this day, my mother’s abortion affects us all.  My husband had two sisters but his youngest sister died of Hodgkins Disease when she was only 27 years old.  His other sister has one son.  Since I have no earthly siblings, my boys have just one cousin.  How different would their lives be if that baby had lived? How many cousins would my boys have?

I am grateful that my father talked my mom out of aborting me.  To think, I was once a “CHOICE.”  My three sons would not have been born and all of the children that they will have would not have been born.  I love genealogy and in going back just 8 or 10 generations, our two 8X’s great- grandparents  ended up with 1,000+ descendants.  So, when one baby is killed, how many lives are impacted?   Thousands!!! 

I am a counselor in a Respect Life office.  When I meet women who are considering an abortion and tell them my story, they are able to put a face with what was once thought of as a “CHOICE.”  It makes it very real for them.  Of course, it was always real. 

Blessings,

Kim

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