Tonight, for the 2nd time since learning about the abortion that killed my twin sister, something triggered the trauma of that memory. Yes, when babies are aborted, their scream is silent, because they are hidden away in the womb with no way to voice their screams. But tonight, I ended up emotionally in that horrible place of being in the womb as the unwelcome intruder into our space came and ripped my twin sister apart and away from me. I literally screamed, with every thing within me “NOOOOO! NOOOOO! NOOOOOO!….” It was dark. It was terrifying. It was wrong. Such pain. Such agony. Such violence. I don’t know why God has allowed me to remember the abortion so vividly, but it has happened twice now. I think that possibly it has to do with the misconception of so many that the baby in the womb doesn’t feel pain, that they aren’t really people yet. When I hear the debate over “when fetuses are pain-capable,” I want to scream. We were only around 14 weeks, and the anguish I have felt is the most exquisite agony I have ever known. I later saw in the mirror tonight that I have little red dots all around my eyes and all over my forehead as well. My screams and cries tonight, that came out of the deepest depths of my soul and cellular memory, were like none I have ever known, except that one night last year when I remembered. Thankfully, this time I was home and not driving. I have never even heard of bursting capillaries in one’s forehead, and yet I did tonight. I am at peace now, knowing that tonight, as He did so many years ago, I felt God’s strong arms of love surround me and hold me close. If anyone ever wonders why I am so crazy about God, that is why. I have known His love so deeply, so intimately, and there is nothing that compares. Please, my friends, as you hear the debates and philosophical discussions about when babies can feel pain and when is abortion ok/not ok, please remember my sister Leanne, whose voice was taken from her, and me, the friend whom you see and know, who remembers such violence that NOONE should ever have to experience. The silent scream is real, and I scream for those whom you cannot hear.