Post Abortive Sibling Describes Conflicted Feelings

*This was shared by a member of my ‘secret’ group for the post abortive siblings on Facebook. I thank her for sharing, as I can so relate, and know others can as well. I also think it’s important for non siblings to read. Perhaps it can give them a deeper understanding.
If you are on facebook, and would like to be part of the group, please message my page: Abortion Hurts Siblings And Others (the link is in the sidebar), and we will get you added.
I feel like the subject of abortion, for siblings is so tough. I feel so heartbroken that I’ve had to watch my mom grieve over her decison to abort my whole life. At the same time, I feel like I wish people knew how much heartache I’ve experienced over it as well… how many letters I’ve written, how carefully I worked at deciding on a name for him, since my mom never named him as far as I know (even though she knew he was a boy afterwards.) I was just remembering today that I named him Jonah Stephen, because I think of the abortion swallowing him up in much the same way that Jonah was swallowed by the great fish, and Stephen because of the symbolism of St. Stephen’s martyrdom paralelling with my brother’s needless death.

I feel a big conflict in my mind and soul over wanting to spread information on how much abortion impacts whole families and how it’s not an “easy fix” like the world wants us to believe. But at the same time, I ache for my mom and the way she is going to have to carry the pain of that grave decision with her for the rest of her life. I don’t want to cause her any more grief, so I am trying to walk the line and respect her tender emotions when addressing the topic of abortion. Wish I had more of an ability to share that pain with others though. I really think people have NO clue how much this affects people!


One thought on “Post Abortive Sibling Describes Conflicted Feelings

  1. Been wanting to comment on this for a while. First of all how every beautiful the way you came to a name for your sibling. So thoughtful and really profound.

    Being a sibling of an aborted baby is conflicting. You are mourning and assailed with many different feelings and yet you love your mom deeply and do not want to hurt her. That is so normal!

    Abortion does impact entire families, moms, dads siblings, grandparents, aunts uncles, we all are impacted and even society as a whole.

    Little by little this impact is surfacing. we have been doing days for siblings for 5 years now, trying to give them a space where they can freely share what they are experiencing without worrying about hurting other people more, or that someone would be judging their parents. A place where with one another you are free to share all your thoughts and emotions with others who are experiencing the same things and with pastoral and profession help.

    So far we have only done days, but look for our weekend, hopefully this coming fall. we are so excited about it and are in the process of trying to get some scholarships so those who cannot afford to come will be able to.

    keeping you in prayer as I do all the siblings.

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