*This was a meditation that came to me earlier in the week, thinking of the extra pain that we can feel on holidays, loss anniversaries, etc. Feel free to share. And please disregard any errors.
I look at the clock. It is exactly midnight. : / ‘Dear Lord, please get me and the others through this day,’ I pray. For most, it is just another day, but for us, it’s the day we remember my sibling who died. I never met him/her, as he/she died before birth, but I still miss him/her terribly. Especially today. It’s late, so I must try to relax and get some sleep. Slowly, I take deep breaths, focusing on God’s love and peace. Soon I am feeling better. I close my eyes and suddenly find myself in a peaceful field, coming up on a gate. My name is called, by the sweetest voice ever. I know in my heart this is my sibling! A brother! 🙂 I go in the direction it came from, only to hear it now in a new place. This happens 3 more times. The little rascal is play Hide N Seek with me. 😀 Finally, he is caught! I get down on my knees and open my arms, into which he quickly throws himself! Never have I been hugged that tight before! Tears come to my eyes. Partially from sadness that I have missed out on this for so many years, yet also from a deep sense of gratitude and peace. After a few minutes, he puts his little hand in mine, and asks me to follow him. Though unsure where, I agree. The walk is not more than 10 minutes, during which time he is excitedly chattering away about this and that. His joy is contagious! So much so that my face is hurting from smiling so big 😀 We have been alone the whole time but suddenly in the distance I notice a massive group of people. I wondered who they were and what they were doing, but before I could say something, he smiled and said that those were his friends and he wanted me to meet them. I am a little shy, but allow him to lead me. Someone in the group notices us approaching, and word quickly spreads to the others. Their faces light up as they wave and call his name. He waves back and with much excitement tells them about me. It touches me so deeply to hear him speaking of me like that. In turn, as I am introduced to everyone, I got to hear some amazing things about my brother. As I have suspected, he has a super gentle personality, always eager to help, yet can be quite the scamp. 😉 After introductions, he and I are invited to sit down in the middle where picnic blankets, enough for all, have been laid out. I learn it is a tradition to celebrate the day that he (and everyone else) arrived in Heaven. 😀 What a contrast, I think to myself, since I had been so worked up earlier. We have such a delightful meal and conversation. Afterwards, the others excuse themselves, saying it was nice to meet me, and they would be keeping me and my family in their prayers. When we are alone, he becomes somewhat serious and tells me, ‘before you go, I want us to pick out some things for mom and the others, to make the day a little easier for them. It makes us so sad to see them hurting 😦 So we always pray extra for them, and you, on these days.’ I greatly appreciate his thoughtfulness and together we planned some special gifts. Dad is a great lover of the nighttime sky so we arranged for an extra special one. For mom, we arranged a special bouquet of flowers and for our siblings, meals made with love. When all this has taken place, it’s time to go. 😦 This is hard for me. I love him so much. But knowing that he is saddened by our pain, I do my best to compose myself. He gives me a very tight hug and kiss on the cheek. While he understands why I’m sad, he reminds me that we WILL meet again!! One day he will greet me at the gates of Heaven, and we will never again be apart! What joy!! 😀 But he even before that time, he assures me, there would be ways in which he would make his presence known, like tonight. At that reminder, my mood shifts! Suddenly, I am looking forward to those times and one day telling my family about this amazing visit! With one last hug, kiss, hand squeeze and a noogie for good measure, I head toward the gate. Suddenly, I am back in my room, and realize that morning has come. Time to start the day. There is a peace with me that I haven’t felt before. Smiling, I send up a prayer of thanksgiving, and continue with my preparations.