He Saw Us (Original)

I have been thinking a lot about the upcoming anniversary of my brother’s passing (2/14) as well as the anniversary of when we found out about it (1/22/07). Even though I am mostly at peace with his loss, there are times when it is harder, like lately. Today, while my mind was wandering again, a poem started forming about him and how he’s known us since that night,  and ended up bringing comfort. I know that not everyone shares the same spiritual views, but I wanted to share the poem anyway, in the hopes that it might bring comfort to some, especially other post abortive sibs. Please overlook any grammar errors, etc. and know that it is very likely I will modify this at some point ( I will add any updated version to a new post).

When joey got to Heaven
He saw his mom and dad

And felt deep love and understanding.
He also saw us, his brothers and sisters
And felt an instant love.
We did not know him yet
But he was not put off
For we were still quite young.
He knew our names and ages
And what brought pain
And what brought joy.
When we were hurting
He did his best to comfort.
And while they did not know or see him
We often felt that comfort.
When we would laugh and smile
HE would do the same.
His love for us was so intense
That he became like our protector.
And was always on alert.
Even though we couldn’t see him
And didn’t know of his existence
We still felt safe and loved.
He liked to point out many things
That we otherwise might miss.
No accomplishment was too small
He was always very proud of us
Even though we didn’t feel the same.
For years he did this all in secret
Until that fateful night
When mom told us we had a brother
And she had named him joey.
While the news was unexpected
And brought with it much pain
It also brought a special love.
I did not know this sibling yet,
But i loved like the others.
As time went on, i began to see
What i had missed before.
His signs of love were all around.
And it brought with it such comfort
Especially when I had been feeling
like i was all alone.
We communicate in a special way
Where words are not required.
I think of him and know he knows
And i know he thinks of me.
I’ve never seen his face
Or even heard his voice
But when one day i get to Heaven
I’ll know him right away
And we’ll pick up where we left off
Because mom shared the truth with us.
The pain i felt when we found out
Has been lessened by my love for him
And his great love for me.
…..written on 1/17/18

 

 

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