I have been thinking a lot about the upcoming anniversary of my brother’s passing (2/14) as well as the anniversary of when we found out about it (1/22/07). Even though I am mostly at peace with his loss, there are times when it is harder, like lately. Today, while my mind was wandering again, a poem started forming about him and how he’s known us since that night, and ended up bringing comfort. I know that not everyone shares the same spiritual views, but I wanted to share the poem anyway, in the hopes that it might bring comfort to some, especially other post abortive sibs. Please overlook any grammar errors, etc. and know that it is very likely I will modify this at some point ( I will add any updated version to a new post).
When joey got to HeavenHe saw his mom and dadAnd felt deep love and understanding.He also saw us, his brothers and sistersAnd felt an instant love.We did not know him yetBut he was not put offFor we were still quite young.He knew our names and agesAnd what brought painAnd what brought joy.When we were hurtingHe did his best to comfort.And while they did not know or see himWe often felt that comfort.When we would laugh and smileHE would do the same.His love for us was so intenseThat he became like our protector.And was always on alert.Even though we couldn’t see himAnd didn’t know of his existenceWe still felt safe and loved.He liked to point out many thingsThat we otherwise might miss.No accomplishment was too smallHe was always very proud of usEven though we didn’t feel the same.For years he did this all in secretUntil that fateful nightWhen mom told us we had a brotherAnd she had named him joey.While the news was unexpectedAnd brought with it much painIt also brought a special love.I did not know this sibling yet,But i loved like the others.As time went on, i began to seeWhat i had missed before.His signs of love were all around.And it brought with it such comfortEspecially when I had been feelinglike i was all alone.We communicate in a special wayWhere words are not required.I think of him and know he knowsAnd i know he thinks of me.I’ve never seen his faceOr even heard his voiceBut when one day i get to HeavenI’ll know him right awayAnd we’ll pick up where we left offBecause mom shared the truth with us.The pain i felt when we found outHas been lessened by my love for himAnd his great love for me.…..written on 1/17/18