He Saw Us (Original)

I have been thinking a lot about the upcoming anniversary of my brother’s passing (2/14) as well as the anniversary of when we found out about it (1/22/07). Even though I am mostly at peace with his loss, there are times when it is harder, like lately. Today, while my mind was wandering again, a poem started forming about him and how he’s known us since that night,  and ended up bringing comfort. I know that not everyone shares the same spiritual views, but I wanted to share the poem anyway, in the hopes that it might bring comfort to some, especially other post abortive sibs. Please overlook any grammar errors, etc. and know that it is very likely I will modify this at some point ( I will add any updated version to a new post).

When joey got to Heaven

He saw his mom and dad

And felt deep love and understanding.

He also saw us, his brothers and sisters

And felt an instant love.

We did not know him yet

But he was not put off

For we were still quite young.

He knew our names and ages

And what brought pain

And what brought joy.

When we were hurting

He did his best to comfort.

And while they did not know or see him

We often felt that comfort.

When we would laugh and smile

HE would do the same.

His love for us was so intense

That he became like our protector.

And was always on alert.

Even though we couldn’t see him

And didn’t know of his existence

We still felt safe and loved.

He liked to point out many things

That we otherwise might miss.

No accomplishment was too small

He was always very proud of us

Even though we didn’t feel the same.

For years he did this all in secret

Until that fateful night

When mom told us we had a brother

And she had named him joey.

While the news was unexpected

And brought with it much pain

It also brought a special love.

I did not know this sibling yet,

But i loved like the others.

As time went on, i began to see

What i had missed before.

His signs of love were all around.

And it brought with it such comfort

Especially when I had been feeling

like i was all alone.

We communicate in a special way

Where words are not required.

I think of him and know he knows

And i know he thinks of me.

I’ve never seen his face

Or even heard his voice

But when one day i get to Heaven

I’ll know him right away

And we’ll pick up where we left off

Because mom shared the truth with us.

The pain i felt when we found out

Has been lessened by my love for him

And his great love for me.

…..written on 1/17/18