What I, A Post Abortive Sibling, Wanna Say To The Abortion Minded/Post Abortive Parents

First of all, I do not hate you, judge you, etc. On the contrary, I wanna give you a hug, and tell you that I am here for you. I know that there are people who have left or will do so, when they find out what you are thinking/did. That’s not me. I know that for many, it is a painful decision, sometimes chosen for you, or because of difficult circumstances. I am so sorry for all the condemnation you have and will likely receive in the future.  As much as I am spreading the word about how much abortion can hurt us, siblings, I am also trying to see to it, that all of you are treated with love and respect.

Admittedly, before finding out about mom’s abortion, I gave little thought to the the whole issue beyond feeling it was wrong, and wondering why anyone would choose it (for the most part). But after hearing her story, it made me realize how hard it was for her. It was during a very dark time in her life, and I could see that nearly 11 years later she was still hurting from it. It also made me remember that I had heard her speaking to a young woman about abortion with such conviction, never knowing that she was speaking from first hand experience. This girl was convinced and has become very prolife since then.

It hurt badly, to find out that we had lost a brother, especially in such a horrible way. But to this day, one of the things that hurts most about it, is that it took place during my lifetime, and I did nothing to help. I cringe thinking about the things I may have said or done unintentionally that likely caused her great pain. I wish I had been able to comfort her when she found out, and maybe I could’ve done more to help out and what not. Maybe she wouldn’t have considered aborting. Granted, I was 10, I know, deep down that it was not my fault, but it is still a struggle. I hope and pray that on the day of the abortion, and the day after, etc. I didn’t do anything to hurt her even more than she already was. I hate knowing that for so many years, she told just a very few people, suffering mostly in silence. And to this day, there are many that do not know. Keeping this silence myself, to some extent, for this amount of time (nearly 7 years) has made me understand how hard it must be for you, especially if you have been silent even longer. One of my biggest reasons for being in this movement is to encourage people like you to be respected and allowed to share your stories without judgement. You deserve to be able to receive healing and not carry the burden alone, plus you can possibly improve the life of someone else who is going through a similar pain.

Another thing the abortion did to me, was make me so much more sensitive to comments and images. While I believe that abortion does take a life, I am not cool with calling these parents murderers, etc. I believe there are other, more sensitive ways of speaking about it. I also wish that the images were more discreetly displayed, being sensitive to those who are traumatized by their abortions, etc. I aim to treat all of you, as I wish my mom to be treated. And will very often speak up in your defense. Her decision to abort did not make me love her less! Frankly, I stayed away from the abortion issue for years to avoid the pain, and would love to see things change, so less people would feel that way. But is has made me more understanding of why some would choose the pro choice movement, and desire to respectfully explain how my views have changed over time.

I admire my mom for many reasons. She’s been through A LOT in her life, but has so much more compassion for those in similar situations, and has become less judgemental, etc (not harshing on her  before, mind you). My siblings and I are trying to follow that example in the way we see and deal with people. One of the things I admire most about her, is the fact that she told us about the abortion. That took a lot of strength. She shared with us the abortion date, etc. I’m so happy that that day is no longer a secret, and we can all try to help each other through it, etc. Believe it or not, knowing about what happened, has brought us even closer together, and made me more thankful for the siblings I do have here, as annoying as they can be 😉 I truly hope that by sharing this with you, that those who have not yet shared with their kids from fear or whatever, you can feel encouraged and strengthened. Great healing can come for you and them, and I am there for both. Seriously, I would love to speak to your kids if they felt up to it.

To all reading this, post abortive or non, pro life or pro choice, those in agreement or not, etc. I ask you to be respectful. This is very personal, and is such an important part of why I do what I am doing, that I may have been a little scattered in writing it. I am sure that not everyone will agree with this, but am sharing this anyway in the hopes that some are affected in a positive way. Please feel free to pass this around to others, if you feel it would be of comfort, etc to them. Thank you in advance, for respecting my request.